Good leaders understand that the way they communicate with others is almost as important as the content of the communication itself.
Their social intelligence reminds them that what they say matters.
As well as taking cues from the actions of their leaders, people also listen to their choice of words. Leaders know that their team members will take their words to heart and later match them with their actions. For this reason, there are a few things you will never hear from a good leader.
“It’s none of my business, you need to have a conversation with someone else.”
Conflict exists in every business or workplace, whether you like it or not. Leaders are not above confrontation in the office because it is a natural part of the work process.
Good leaders know that once an argument gets going, it’s hard to stop. For this reason, they are not afraid to have difficult conversations and ask uncomfortable questions before things get worse.
For example, if an employee has a performance problem, good leaders bring it to their attention immediately. Having the courage to directly address the situation that has arisen for the sake of your good relationship with your employees, rather than letting problems sit on the back burner until they become a crisis.
“What’s wrong with you?”
You have most likely been in a work situation where someone made a mistake. Perhaps this mistake was quite costly. However, to err is human and people do it all the time. The question is how you reacted to the mistake.
About a decade ago, I worked with a manager who reacted harshly whenever things didn’t go according to plan. Tantrums and finger-pointing were standard acts in his repertoire. His behavior took a heavy toll on many people who decided it was better to resign and look for a better job.
Expressing anger and frustration is natural, but good leaders don’t let their emotions get the best of them. They do not lose control and do not embarrass their team members. This is because they pay special attention to one of the most important aspects of emotional intelligence – self-control.
Why is self-control so important? When conflicts arise, self-control plays the role of that tool that depends on whether a person will be able to manage his emotions and behavior in such a way as to achieve a positive outcome. According to emotional intelligence guru Daniel Goleman, when working with emotionally intelligent leaders, “drama is very low and productivity is very high.”
If leaders lack self-control, the result is not good. One of the main hindrances resulting from a lack of self-control is unfiltered anger. Anger is a normal human emotion, but it should be expressed healthily. There is a place and a time for expressing anger, and we all need to learn how to manage it if we don’t want it to take over. Self-control takes care of that.
“I don’t need help, I’ll handle this problem myself.”
Leaders who look to always move forward and overcome any challenge that comes their way without asking for help from their team members, even if they are more qualified to handle a problem, sooner or later become overwhelmed with too many many duties and become victims of burnout.
However, this is only the damage sustained by the leader himself. In these cases, employees are also losers because they lose motivation and begin to doubt their role in the team, as they see that their boss is not ready to trust them with the performance of difficult tasks.
Good leaders allow their employees to shine, approaching problems from the position of a coach. When a member of their team comes to them with a problem, they ask them questions like, “What do you think might be getting in your way?” or “Is there another way this situation could be handled?”. Thus, they allow the employee to demonstrate knowledge and ability and understand that his voice is heard and his opinion is valued.
